SAXOPHONE JOKES

  1. Why did Adolph Sax invent the saxophone?
    He hated mankind but wasn't couldn't design a bomb
  2. How many bari sax players does it take to pop popcorn?
    2 - one to hold the popper and one to shake the stove
  3. Why do sax players not like playing soprano?
    Because you can't hide your drugs inside it.
  4. What's the difference between a sax player and a lawnmower?
    The lawnmower cuts grass; the sax player smokes it
  5. What is the difference between a sax and a vacuum cleaner?
    You have to plug in the vacuum cleaner before it sucks
  6. What does a sax player do when he's offered a blow job?
    Ask where the gig is and insists on bringing his own rythm section
  7. You are in a room with Saddam Hussein, Adolf Hitler, and Kenny G. You have a gun with only 2 bullets. What do you do?
    Shoot Kenny G. twice just in cas
  8. How do saxophone players define perfect pitch?
    Throwing an alto sax into a toilet from 40 feet away and not hitting the rim
  9. You may be a redneck saxophonist if...
    ...you have an old bass sax up on bricks in your front yard
    ...you spell it "saxaphone"
    ...you walk into your room and trip over at least 5 instrument cases
    ...you think the bell of your instrument is a great place to hide drinks during a competetion
  10. What do a saxophone and a baseball have in common?
    People cheer when you hit them with a bat
  11. What's the difference between a barisax and a chainsaw?
    1. Virbrato
    2. The exhaust
  12. What's the difference between the creation theory and a tenor sax?
    The theory doesn't have as many leaks.
  13. What's the difference between Kenny G and a machine gun?
    The machine gun repeats itself only 10 times a second.
  14. What do you call a thousand saxophones at the bottom of the ocean?
    A good start
  15. What's the difference between a lawnmower and a tenor sax?
    1. Lawnmowers sound better in small ensembles
    2. You can tune a lawnmower
    3. The neighbors are upset if you borrow a lawnmower and don't return it