How do you put down a tenor saxophone?
Confuse it with a bass clarinet
What's the purpose of the bell on a bass clarinet?
Storing the ashes from the rest of the instrument
What do you call a bass clarinetist with half a brain?
A man walked out to a meat store looking for some brains for dinner. He looked at the selections:
Flute Brains, $1/lb
Tuba Brains, $10/lb
Percussion Brains, $5/lb
Clarinet Brains, $100/lb
He asked the butcher why clarinet brains were so expensive.
The butcher replied, "Do you know how many clarinets you have to kill to get a pound of brains?"
How do you stop an oboe from being stolen?
Put it in a clarinet case
What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?
No one cries when you chop a clarinet into little pieces
How do you get a clarinetist out of a tree?
Cut the noose
What's the deffinition of a nerd?
Someone who has their own personal alto clarinet